Table of Contents
Introduction
In Part 1, I reviewed 4 frozen pizzas that proved Hell might still be experiencing a few cold spots.
This is not Part 1.
After discovering the surprisingly excellent Newman’s Own Made in Italy Margherita, I started wondering whether frozen pizza manufacturers had finally figured things out. Maybe technology had advanced. Maybe Italians had taken over the frozen food aisle. Maybe we were entering a Golden Age of Frozen Pizza.
Well, several pizzas later, I have my answer.
F… No!
As it turns out, Hell has NOT frozen over. The universe simply experienced a temporary glitch before correcting itself. Order has been restored.
But along the way, I learned something important.
Frozen pizza isn’t competing against the best pizza in Napoli. It’s competing against putting on pants, getting in the car, and driving somewhere to find pizza. And frankly, some days that’s a tougher competition than you’d think.
That’s where today’s frozen pizzas live.
None of these were terrible. Remember, I firmly believe there is no such thing as bad pizza—only some pizzas that’s better than others.
These five all landed squarely in the MEH category.
And yet, a few of them still managed to convince me to buy them again.
Go figure.
The MEH but Might Try Again Anyways!
It’s a Utica Thing – Tomato Pie Frozen – September 2023 (and other times)
This one gets bonus points for being different. I truly LOVE “real” Utica Tomato Pie, although I’ve never been to any of the “It’s a Utica Thing” shops in Utica, NY. Several places in that area of Upstate NY sell this style of pizza with my favorite being Perreca’s (twice previously reviewed here and here).
The Dough – MEH – Unfortunately, unlike Perreca’s there was not much air or puff in the crust. And worse, it had a slight frozen taste.
The Sauce – MEH – Simply, there was not enough of it. This seems like trend with frozen pizzas. I can only believe that it’s purposeful to keep the weight down for shipping purposes. But the flavor wasn’t bad.
The Cheese – GOOD – Lots of pecorino. Which is exactly what I’d expect from a tomato pie.
The Value – MEH – about $12 for a small-ish rectangle that yields 4 squares. That’s about $18 for a12″ round equivalent.
The Rating – MEH – it pains me to rate It’s a Utica Thing frozen pizza this low.
Would I Buy It Again? YES – so despite the rating, I want to try again – That’s how much I love Utica Tomato Pie!!!!
Bettergoods (Walmart) – multiple times – May 2026
This was one of those pizzas that looked promising on the box. Then I ate it….unfortunately. And what’s even more unfortunate, we continue to buy it even though it’s not been great. BUT IT SAYS…MADE IN ITALY ON THE BOX…IT’S GOTTA’ BE GOOD, RIGHT? WRONG!
The Dough – GOOD – hmm, I’ve had this pizza before, but the May 2026 version of the dough is not the same as previous…gotta’ be the changing of suppliers. It certainly looks the part, with some puff and a nice cornicione, but doesn’t taste like a Neapolitan! Tastes kind of freezer burned.
The Sauce – GOOD – Reasonably acceptable but nothing that made me reach for another slice.
The Cheese – MEH – Again, acceptable. The pizza equivalent of a shrug.
The Value – GREAT – Only a good value if you enjoy it. I didn’t.
The Rating – MEH, BUT IT SAYS “MADE IN ITALY”…oh well, must be from Northern Italy!
Would I buy it again? NO. I said it before, but I did anyways…what’s wrong with me!?!? I bet I buy it again!!!
Note – I’d tried Bettergoods in 2023 in FL and thought it was GOOD, not great. Now I’m starting to wonder if the difference is between our oven in Florida and our oven in NY because the “same” pizza seems to be more of problem in NY.
The MEH – Run Away and Fast!
Newman’s Own Thin & Crispy (Walmart) – May 2026
This pizza taught me an important lesson. Just because it says “Newman’s Own” on the box doesn’t mean it’s the same pizza. Looking closely at the box IT DOES NOT SAY Made in Italy. That should have been a sign
The Dough – MEH – Forgettable. Almost offensive! Only memorable because it was cracker thin and crispy like a saltine. Actually, tasted like a saltine too!
The Sauce – GOOD – Fine, but not memorable.
The Cheese – MEH – at best, serviceable, which is not a ringing endorsement.
The Value – GREAT – Reasonably priced, but I’d rather spend the money on the Publix version.
The Rating – MEH
Would I buy it again? NO
Tops Wood Fired Margherita – June 2026
This pizza did more than any other to restore balance to the universe. Hmm…this one says “Imported, Italy“. Given the following, it must have been that box that was imported from Italy!!!
The Dough – MEH – Well past crispy, kinda’ rocky! No softness at all! Not even at the cornicione. Taste like a frozen white bagel that has been overcooked or was that cardboard? Hmm…you choose!
The Sauce – GOOD – Oddly enough, the sauce wasn’t bad. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of it. There was also some large tomato bits on top, not sure why.
The Cheese – GOOD – Actually tasty. The moozedell is kind of chewy but no stringiness. A little bit of parmagian also..
The Value – GREAT! (here comes the but) but, the problem with cheap pizza is that you still have to eat it. And the value didn’t overcome the sh*tty crust
The Rating – MEH – the crust killed it
Would I buy it again? – MAYBE, I want to try baking one of these again
NOTE – one of greatest mysteries of pizza is how such a MEH pizza could be so much better as day old after sitting in the frig overnight! This pizza was way better out of the frig. I had time to soak up some moisture from the frig and tasted GOOD! Might need to try this one again!!!
Screaming Sicilian – Neapolitan (December 2025)
This one came with enthusiasm after seeing several reviews of Screaming Sicilian around the net. Unfortunately, enthusiasm isn’t a topping.
The Dough – MEH – No special flavors, overall, nothing memorable.
The Sauce – MEH – Almost nonexistent. Why call it a pizza if you are going to skimp on the sauce?
The Cheese (Moozedell) – MEH – Way too much. Combined with heavy oregano, it overwhelmed everything else.
The Value – Great! At $7 on sale for a 9″ round (which is $10 for a 12″ equivalent round)
The Rating – MEH, the overpowering oregano is the only thing that made this pizza memorable
Would I Buy It Again? No
Final Thoughts
So what have I learned from this latest round of frozen pizza experimentation?
First, one great frozen pizza does not mean frozen pizza has been perfected.
Second, “Made in Italy” appears to be a marketing phrase, not a performance guarantee.
Third, frozen pizza companies seem to have a deeply troubling fear of pizza sauce.
Seriously. If sauce is one of the cheapest ingredients on the pizza, why are so many manufacturers acting like it’s made from gold?
Most importantly, I learned that MEH doesn’t always mean “never again.”
- The Utica Tomato Pie was MEH, but I’d buy it again because I love the style.
- And somehow Bettergoods keeps finding its way back into my shopping cart despite repeatedly proving that it probably shouldn’t.
Maybe that’s the real lessons:
- Frozen pizza isn’t always about finding greatness.
- Sometimes it’s about convenience.
- Sometimes it’s about curiosity.
- And sometimes it’s about standing in the frozen food aisle convincing yourself that this time the pizza with “Made in Italy” on the box will finally live up to the promise.
Spoiler alert: Usually it doesn’t.
The universe has corrected itself.
Hell has thawed out.
And the order of things has been restored.
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