I’ve not written since last fall when we were traveling, but now that we’re traveling again, I have some time to write. So let me start with a recap of Homemade Pizza from late 2022 through mid 2023.
But first a Word of the Day and a story:
Nebaladan (Neapolitan-American) Word of the Day
Finamen (pronunciation feen-a-men) – likely Italian word finalmente
Meaning – finally, at last
Usage by Ma (Grandma Joanne) – anything from WTF to finally. Usually used for any expression of exasperated.
In context conversations when I was in college with my Ma:
Me – “Ma, I have a girlfriend”
Ma – “Finamen!” (meaning finally)
Me – “Ma, I’m going out tonight.”
Ma – “Finamen!” (meaning WTF, AGAIN!)
Global Entry, No, Not You!
In the spring of 2022, we applied for Global Entry since we like traveling abroad. The current state of the Department of Homeland (In)Security (DHS) takes 8 months for our security interview in November 2022, finamen! We drove across state to Fort Pierce International (yes, International!) Airport to meet the DHS agent.
Presumably, the interview sorts the wheat from the chaff. Cathy (the wheat) was in & out in 5 minutes. Then, my (the chaff) turn. It was going fast, but then the officer asked, “Have you ever been arrested for a felony?”
Doesn’t that sound just like a question out of Arlo Guthrie’s Alice’s Restaurant?
ASIDE – Yes, I was arrested! In 1990, a group of guys and I produced a triathlon series. At the Canandaigua, NY race, I first raced, then at the end, I noticed that a main intersection was not managed AT ALL by the hired police. Cars and cyclists crossed paths at high speeds while the Colonel Klink and Sergeant Shultz stood kibitzing on the corner without directing traffic.
Upon finishing my race, I rode my bike out to that intersection to manage car and cyclist traffic. As I stood in the middle of the intersection, one of the cops yelled “Get out of there”.
I yelled back, “NO, please do your job! Protect the racers! Manage the cars!”
Without moving from the sidewalk, the cop yelled again, “GET OUT OF THE INTERSECTION!”
I repeated, “NO, DO YOUR JOB!”
At that point, Sheriff Lobo, charged at me, and grabbed my arm. I did the natural thing, and pulled my arm away. Then Sheriff Barney Fife, grabbed my arm again, executed a side flip over his hip which placed me on my stomach, then jammed his knee into my back and screamed, “YOU’RE UNDER ARREST (for resisting arrest, a NY felony, apparently pulling my arm away is resisting arrest).” FINAMEN!
As a result, I have some sympathy for George Floyd (et. al.) who have been arrested or wrongfully arrested, or worse killed by juice head cops (BTW, I think most of the cops are not juice heads, but more than I’d like are. BTW2, I have cop friends that know this story and think that arrest was BULLSHIT)
Back to the DHS, interview. So, I replied, “Well, yes and no. I was charged with a Felony Resisting Arrest, but it was reduced to a misdemeanor disturbance at my court appearance (since Sheriff Fife didn’t show for the hearing). But, that was in 1990!
Like Arlo in Alice’s Restaurant, I thought to myself, “I should’ve kept my mouth shut,” especially now that I know what I know (more below).
The agent replied, “Well, I can grant provisional approval as long as you can provide evidence of the reduction within 90 days.”
Upon getting home, I reached out to the court in the Village of Canandaigua, NY via email . A few weeks pass, I received a reply from the Village that they “had no record of my arrest. You should try Canandaigua Town Court.”
Well, Finamen! The Canandaigua Town and Village have maybe 5000 residents but separate governments and courts. THAT’S NY STATE, almost 50% of the population are government blood suckerz!
Anyways, I email the Town of Canandaigua about my arrest. And wait and wait and wait.
To quote Chris Berman on ESPN’s NFL Primetime says, “Tick, tick, tick, tick, TICK! The 90 days was running out.
I make a call to town court. Well, of the 50% of NY state that are government, apparently none are paid to answer a phone! FINAMEN!
The 90 days pass, and I receive an email from DHS the my provisional approval had been revoked, but can be reopened with proper documents!
Soon after revocation, I received an email from the Town of Canandaigua Court. FINAMEN. BUT the email said, “that they don’t have a record of my arrest or court appearance. They did a computer system change and purged all old records!”
I sent that “no record” email to DHS. But here I sit 9 months later (17 months since starting) awaiting on DHS!
FINAMEN, like Arlo, I shouldn’t have been so honest!
2022 Homemade Pizza Recap
- 229 pizzas made in 50 pizza making “events” – In other words, I made pizza nearly once per week and made about 5 pizzas each time
- In 3 events, I made 12 pizzas
- Pizza Style and Number Made
- Neapolitan (in both Oonis) – 164
- NY Style (made in oven or grill with pizza steel or grill top oven) – 33
- Grandma/Sheet Pan – 7
- Detroit – 3
- Chicago/Cast Iron Pan Pizzas – 2
- Mahoning Valley – 1
Homemade Pizza So far in 2023
- 123 homemade pizzas made in 23 pizza making “events”
- Continue to make homemade pizza nearly once each week!
- Almost all have been Neapolitan, a few Grandma, Sicilian, and Grill Top (which turn out like NY)
- Sold our gas Ooni Koda in NY and purchased a wood fired Ooni Karu like ours in FL
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Fall 2022 through 1st Half of 2023
Christmas Day 2022, Brrrrr!
- I thought Florida was supposed to be warm, but it was 46F that day! I decided to make some pizzas on my Ooni stone oven, but it was a disaster. The stone wouldn’t heat up enough because of the cold and wind. Some of the pizzas came out with raw dough. I guess I need to practice more with wood-fired cooking.
Freezing and Thawing Doughs – A Success Story
- I have experimented with freezing different types of doughs (Mercurio’s style and dry yeast) and thawing them out for later use. It worked great! I was able to make some delicious pizzas and calzones with the frozen doughs. They were just as good as fresh ones. This is a great way to save time and money
Running Out of Fuel – A Lesson Learned
- I’d made so many pizzas in FL during the fall, I ran out of charcoal and wood within 2 months. I ordered the same charcoal, Masterbuilt Lump Charcoal, as before. It’s great for starting the fire and maintaining a steady temperature. However, some of the pieces were too big for the Ooni forcing hand cutting to make fit. That was a pain.
- For the wood, I made a mistake. I ordered Carolina Cookwood Oak Pizza Oven Wood LOGS instead SPLITS. The logs were too thick for the Ooni, and once again another pain of hand cutting. Next yhfdcrsxezerrrazetime, I will pay more attention to what I order (I DIDN’T!)
Going Back to Basics – The Grill and the Steel
- Sometimes, I don’t feel like using the Ooni oven. It’s a lot of work and it takes a lot of fuel. When I only want to make a few pizzas for Cathy and me, I use the grill and the pizza steel. It’s easier and faster. The pizzas still come out great. The grill top pizza oven is also a good option. It’s like having a mini Ooni on your grill. “` I hope you enjoyed reading this funny blog post about my pizza adventures. Please leave a comment and share your own stories. Happy pizza making!
Misadventures of Store Bought Sauce
- In mid-November 2022, I had a less-than-memorable experience with making pizza. My wife was away, and I had to resort to purchasing dough and Mutti Pizza Sauce from Publix. The dough was impossible to work with, and the sauce was overly processed, salty, and had too many spices that masked any tomato flavor. I didn’t understand why some people like to use this sauce. Overall, it was a disappointing experience that made me appreciate the value of making homemade pizza from scratch.
All in all, I’ve been truly enjoying my pizza making, as you might be able to tell.
Aside – parts of the above were written with the help of ChatGPT. You retire as an engineer, but you can’t stop being an engineer!
I will provide an update and reviews of some purchased pizzas in the next couple of editions.
Finamen!
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