You Big Caguzz! and GPS #21

This blog post talks about some locker room slang that we used as high schoolers in football and baseball and Great Pizza Search (GPS) #21.

You Big Caguzz!

I played football (previously discussed) and baseball in high school. Most of the baseball team also played football, but only a few played basketball.

ASIDE – Why so few basketball players? I can only assume since much of my high school were of Italian descent, and I’m one of the taller Italian descendants, we couldn’t really create a tall enough basketball team to be too competitive, yet alone, great!

Wikipedia shows a list of only 10 Italians to play in the NBA out of 10,000+ players since 1946!

Whereas, our football and baseball teams were state championship caliber during my high school career. END ASIDE.

Given that overlap of teammates, and the fact that most of us knew each other since 1st grade, a unique language developed over time. Our slang was always duragatory to each other, but due to our closeness, it was never inflammatory.

The 3 most prevalent slang terms were all Neapolitan versions of “real” words:

1. “You Chooch!” or “You Choochedell!”

2. “You Cabo (Capo) Gatz!” or “Cabo (Capo) gatz on toast” or “Cabo (capo) gatz on burnt toast,”

and finally, 3. “You caguzz!?” or “you big caguzz!?”

ASIDE – One slang that is still routinely used was “Bah Fanabla.” I hated (and still hate) that term. “Bah Fababla” is equivalent to the “N-word” to me. You can call me a dago, guini, or whop, and I don’t care. But if you say, “Bah Fanabla” to me, you’re likely to be in a world of hurt.

Why is “Bah Fanabla” so bad? Well, “Bah Fanabla” roughly translates to “Go to Naples!”. It is a racist term used to tell Southern Italians who migrate elsewhere for work, usually hard labor and jobs that others didn’t want, to “go back to where you came from you dirty, illiterate, scum!”

But to a Neopolitan, it’s equivalent to “Go F… Yourself!”

It is used by many people in the the USA too, but only because they’re ignorant as to what it means to those of Neapolitan descent. END ASIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what’s a caguzz? Neopolitan shortened cacuzza (aka cacuzz, aka cacuzza, aka Italian squash, aka Zucchini squash). Zucchini is another word that I’d not heard until moving here 38 years ago!

BAFUNGOO! It’s Ca-GUZZ!

BTW, I pronounce it “ca gooz.” I’m not sure why I used it with a “g” versus “c”. But, it’s with a “c” in Urban Dictionary.

In the context of our teams’ locker rooms, calling someone a “Big Caguzz” was saying that the person was the equivalent of a male private part! And, as a result, a large round of laughter would follow, including from the “Big Caguzz!” Whereas, if we called the person “a male private part” in English, it could be the beginning of a fight!

Caguzz at home!

We belong to a local Community Supported Agriculture association (farm co-op). As part of our membership, we get a weekly allotment of farm fresh fruits and veggies at a farm a few miles from home.

This week, among the tomatoes, peppers, watermelon, etc…we picked up a massive caguzz. One of my favorite childhood foods was Oots and Poots! I was probably a 1 year old when I named Caguzz and Peppers – OOTS AND POOTS. A term that remained in my family!

My father, Grandpa Tony, made Oots and Poots but also included tomatoes. The above picture is mine from this week with onions and garlic from our CSA but without tomato. C makes a baked caguzz with tomato in a recipe from my mother-in-law who, unfortunately, didn’t call it caguzz bake!

I’ll explore cabo gatz and chooch in further posts!

GPS #21 – Tolleson’s Pizzeria, Marion, NY

For Great Pizza Search (GPS) #21, I headed to Tolleson’s Pizzeria in Marion, NY. It was part of a 60 mile ride that I did with my buddy, Dennis (the guy who scraped me off the rocks in my wreck in Tug Hill State Forest). Strava Link

I’ve bypassed Tolleson’s in the past because, now as the official Pizza Snob, I want a pizzeria to have an Italian name! Additionally, Tolleson’s doesn’t have a website and, thus, no “About Me” section to learn their story.

But, this was only my 3rd ride with another person (other than C) since COVID, and my 2nd with Dennis. In our previous ride, he chided me to stop at a shop in Macedon, NY.

But, I told him that the shop was a local chain, and chains are against the rules. I’ve known Dennis for nearly 40 years, and he’s heard many of my “rules” and superstitions, so he just rolled with it. But, I promised myself after that ride, to make it up to him. So, as we started, I suggested a ride to Marion to Tolleson’s (despite the name!).

For Dennis’ part, he was feeling nostalgic! As he talked about always stopping for pizza when bike training for “The Ironman!” Once us POPS (Past Our Primes) get nostalgic, it doesn’t take much convincing to do stuff!

The Ambiance and Presentation

This pizzeria HAS THE MAKINGS OF A JOINT…but falls just short 😦
- it’s an old, long, narrow brick building
- tables are on both sides of a main walkway
- service counter in the back
- BUT, the inside seemed a little to sterile. It needs to be a little more rustic to be a joint…unfortunately
They had a display case with slices. We ordered two pepperoni
It was poor quality box (versus heavy duty cardboard)
Ambiance Rating – Good

The dough and crust

The crust was dense near the center, allowing it to not sag when folded, and was more light near the cornicione
As a result of this variation in density, there was little crunch in the middle, but a very pleasant crunch near the cornicione
Crust Rating = Good

The Sauce

There was little sauce, but of what there was, it was nicely tangy and fought it’s way through the pepperoni and cheese
Sauce rating = Good (it would likely be a higher rating if there were more)

The Cheese – also a good amount of moozedell. Along with the pepperoni, it added a nice salty flavor = Very good